I’ve always been somewhat of a hypochondriac.
I freak out over just the smallest cold, cut, or cough.
I have any type of symptom and immediately go to WebMD and diagnose myself.
Yes, i’m #thatgirl.
So when it came to Lacy getting sick, I assumed I’d go into crazy mode.
However, I was relatively calm considering the extent of her sickness.
It all started with a fever and her becoming very tired and wore out almost constantly.
This happened for about a week or so with my Mom noticing that she was tired a lot of the time as well.
We chalked it up to us being so busy in the week and starting daycare full time that very same week.
Our weeks are scheduled out to a “T”.
My schedule is busy enough as it is with work, school, and just day-to-day activities.
So adding a toddlers schedule into the mix required a detailed timeline.
Her first week of daycare was a God send.
Seriously, I am beyond thankful for that time that I know she is safe and I can do my homework or (God forbid!) clean my house without too much worrying and being bugged by a 3-year old.
So when Friday came around after that first full week of go go go….Lacy was exhausted.
I kept her home from dance and daycare and decided we both deserved a day to just relax.
In hopes of having a girls day we started our day out slowly.
And from there…it got worse.
She wanted to constantly sleep and her breathing sounded a little erratic.
With all the sickness going around I decided to take the weekend and we could relax.
Sidenote: I went from being a super social person to staying home every night.
Seriously, I crochet at night before bed and that qualifies as my “fun” time.
The last time I was able to go out with my friends, let loose, have a good time, was when I went to a Christmas party the beginning of December.
It was a blast!
But that was close to 3 months ago!
For someone like me that was used to going out all the time and taking to people my age to constantly singing the ABC’s….was a drastic change.
I was supposed to be going out that Saturday night and Lacy was going to have a sleepover at a friends house.
I had set up a babysitting exchange with another local mom and her child. So one weekend I’d have both girls and the next weekend she would have both.
Of course….the weekend Lacy gets sick is the weekend I had planned to go out and have some fun.
Those plans were pretty much squashed when it came to Saturday night…
Lacy was getting worse.
Saturday night her temperature was fluctuating between 100-103 degrees and I was lucky enough to have my parents to talk to and get advice on what was best to keep her temperature down.
When it spiked to 104.6 a little before 1AM is when #mommymode really kicked in.
Instead of being a crazy person like I expected, I kept relatively calm and stripped her down.
Using a soothing voice I tried to reassure her that everything was going to be OK.
Turning my shower on it’s coldest setting I set her in the bottom of the shower and her screams filled my apartment.
She was shivering cold but her body was on fire.
To calm her down I had to put half my body in the shower and hold her as the water poured down on both of us.
We stayed like that for maybe 10 minutes as she just laid in my arms and cried.
I had to wrap her in cold wet towels and checked her temperature every 1/2 hour while alternating between Motrin and Tylenol throughout the night.
I’ve never felt such defeat and helplessness with children than I did that weekend.
I didn’t sleep more than an hour at a time for 3 days while her fever continued to drop and rise.
By Sunday I was over it. Something was wrong and I knew it.
So I called my Mom and we met at the ER in town.
They pumped her full of fluids and swabbed her nose for signs of Influenza.
I asked them to also check for RSV since her cough was becoming worse and they said they would.
After 3 1/2 hours of sitting there and pumping her full of fluids, the ER doctor came in and said, “Well she’s fine! Everything came back negative!”
Lacy began a coughing fit as he said this and was gasping for air.
All I could do was look at him and say, “Are you kidding?”
He sent me away with orders to continue doing what I have been doing and a medicine for her fever blisters that had broke out around her mouth.
His nurse also showed me all of her vitals and said that she was running on all cylinders and doing well.
I wonder how he could tell me that her vitals were all good when they didn’t even take her blood? And if her vitals were good and it said she was hydrated…why did they give her a drip to get her hydrated?
Needless to say they don’t know what they are doing in the ER.
I walked away with a sick kid still and knowing that Lacy was not OK.
Lacy continued to get worse as I knew she would.
Tuesday came around all Lacy wanted to do was sleep.
Out of 24 hour days she would be awake maybe 4-5 hours of the day.
Her little body was trying so hard to beat whatever it was that was hurting her and she was exhausted.
I called my Mom again and said she needed to go back into the ER.
Her regular physician was completely booked until the next morning and I took the appointment. But as the day progressed I knew we couldn’t wait that long.
I was exhausted. She was miserable. Something had to give.
We took Lacy to a neighboring city’s ER where the doctor was amazing.
She was wearing a 101 Dalmatians scrub and sang songs to Lacy as she looked in her ears and checked her breathing.
Lacy was again poked and prodded and in and out of sleep while we waited for results.
Finally some answers!
She had RSV and was prescribed a steroid.
We were told to keep our doctor appointments for the next morning with our doctor in town and she could check Lacy out and see how her breathing was since she had been having such a hard time.
Next day at our appointment Lacy was feeling a little better thanks to the steroids but her oxygen levels were registering around 81.
Normal levels are 90 and above so this was worrisome.
They wanted to admit her for the night and monitor her breathing but after a nebulizer treatment it became a little better.
We decided she would come home with me tonight and we’d continue taking our medicine and doing breathing treatments and follow up the next day.
The next day her oxygen levels were up, but she now had an ear infection!
The poor kid couldn’t catch a break!
At the end of this Lacy was down and out for a total of 9 days, had made 2 ER visits, and 4 doctor visits. She had been poked with needles, things shoved up her nose, and even though she slept a good portion of her sickness, she was still exhausted.
So was I.
Through all of this I wonder what would have happened to her had someone not been monitoring her fevers and giving her medicine every 4 hours during the day.
The whole time her Mom knew that Lacy was sick and she didn’t call once to check on her.
I lost a whole week of work and daycare and we didn’t leave our house beyond going to the ER and doctors.
Lacy’s Mom knew all that was happening but didn’t even call once to ask how her daughter was doing.
That broke my heart the most I think.
That Lacy was so sick…and naturally…as all kids do….wanting her Mommy.
But her Mommy couldn’t even call.
It breaks my heart that on her first day of daycare I dropped her off and she ran to play with all the kids, and it took me 45 minutes to leave.
I sat in that parking lot and cried.
Does she think i’m abandoning her? That I don’t want to be around her…
Does she know I love her?!
I cried because her mom couldn’t have that moment…as awful a moment it was…she will never know how I cried for her daughter.
How I want nothing more than to make sure she always feels loved and wanted.
I can only hope for a better life for Lacy.
Try to make up for the 3 years she was neglected so often…
I only hope I can spend many more days giving her everything I have to give because she deserves to feel loved and be taken care of.